Ask me anything! 16 yrs

home message me submit mine about

"I’m not going to be the girl you marry, but I’ll be the girl you’ll be thinking of 20 years from now while you engage in polite sex with your boring wife who fakes her orgasm to make you feel better about your receding hairline."
e.b (via e-kallas)

reblog · 208,636 notes

reblog · 105,104 notes



I’m sick of people wrongly defining bisexuality. It’s not ‘attraction to both men and women’ it’s about being attracted to ‘bi’ things like bicycles, binoculars, bilinguals and binary coding smh

So glad someone finally cleared this up.

reblog · 41,060 notes




i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

reblog · 238,161 notes



how are these people not dead

Oh he can eat plastic bags and the other lady can eat drywall, but if I want to enjoy some fucking cookie dough I’ll get salmonella and die

reblog · 382,164 notes

reblog · 179,909 notes





Today is Copernicus’s 541th birthday. You may remember Copernicus as the man who said “Hey, what if the Earth went around the sun?” To which the Catholic Church replied “Hey, what if we set you on fire?” 

the catholic church did not kill copernicus lol…?

look at how many notes this post has. you’re all going to fact check hell


reblog · 138,716 notes


middle school boys in the locker room


reasons i want to look GOOD 

  • for myself
  • for myself
  • to plant the seed of envy in other bitch’s hearts
  • for myself

reblog · 525,451 notes


when u stand up 2 fast n suddenly ur floatin thru space n time

reblog · 288,414 notes


Having a cute waiter like I’ll have the chicken with a side of that dick

reblog · 89,254 notes


so glad his leg isnt broken


alphabet soup more like times new ramen am i right

reblog · 344,137 notes